About last night....New Year ✨2019✨- reader submitted essay

Reader Submitted Essay.jpg

The following was submitted by a reader - who has turned into a friend. While she isn’t interested in sharing her thoughts publicly on a blog or social channel (not yet, at least!), she has found writing and journaling as an enjoyable activity, particularly as it pertains to sobriety or embracing an alcohol-free lifestyle.

Here are her words. I hope they can reach someone who needs to read this right now. xoxo Kim


Last night was NYE. My kids and hubby always stay up until midnight. I haven’t made it in the last 9+ years, because I was always drunk.

I would start drinking wine while cooking dinner - and would drink and drink, most likely having 1+ bottles of wine by myself - hoping that no one would notice:

  • my sloppy-ness

  • my slurred speech

  • my lack of awareness to play a game

  • my extra-loud-obnoxious-laugh

UGH

We’d celebrate the east coast New Years, kiss, and I’d stumble off to bed, fuzzy headed. I’d awake at midnight to the sound of fireworks, my kids giddy with excitement and I’d bounce out of bed to yell, “Happy New Year!” with them,  knowing that I missed most of the night.

I missed the real count down, the real enthusiastic screams, the real start to the New Year.

I’d crawl into bed, disappointed and a bit sad that I missed out. Again. 

So last night....

My kiddos and hubby were making their plans to stay up until midnight, playing Mario Cart, watching TV shows and playing games.

I had planned on going to bed just after 9 p.m. As in the past I never stayed up, BUT...instead, I stayed up with them until midnight. The night was pretty uneventful and my kids were exhausted, but we rang in the new year together - with big fat kisses and hugs, a few blow horns and then I went straight to bed.

I tucked them in and I listened to the fireworks and thought about how wonderful life can be without wine.

How I can really enjoy all these magical moments and see all the little and big details of my life - and of theirs - and, most importantly, remember it all.

This morning I woke up, feeling grateful and excited.

I’m starting the New Year, clear-headed, oh so grateful, and my heart is full! Happy 2019!!


I tucked them in and I listened to the fireworks and thought about how wonderful life can be without wine.