- A frenetic person running around with their head cut off?
- Someone who can't get out of bed or hold down a job?
- Or is it someone who is so overwhelmed with internal conflict that they never realize their full potential in a career or pursuit?
I'm here to share that I have had major anxiety my whole life but you may never know just by looking at me on paper.
- I've owned a successful PR firm for nearly 10 years.
- I've run two marathons and several half marathons.
- I have been married for 11 years, have two healthy children and a 401K.
I definitely think I turned to wine to quell my anxiety - before big events, social activities or during stressful times where I felt overwhelmed.
As much as I leaned on alcohol to soothe my anxiety, I've learned that it has gotten almost better (nearly diminished!) since I started my 100 Days of Sober journey.
But here is one side that is so embarrassing! It's the way my anxiety has manifested physically over the years.
I twirl my hair. I've done it so much that I have a callous on my pointer finger on my left hand. I've twirled so much, a section of my hair has gotten shorter and shorter and, ultimately, has left a temporary bald spot on my left temple. At times it grows back, but then I end up twirling it off again!
I know it appears that I am flippant about things if I'm sitting there talking to someone and catch myself twirling my hair.
And, even though I have a really nice and understanding hair stylist, but it's still embarrassing when I go in to get my hair cut and colored. Good times!
I'm sharing this because I'm committing to fixing this. I'm actively trying to replace this instinctual habit with another physical habit - like tapping my fingers or another activity to keep my hands busy.
I also am going to journal and meditate more because I think that will help release any lingering effects of anxiety I still have. Being mindful is the best medicine to approach a lot of challenges.
Has anyone else experienced this? How does your anxiety manifest and what are you doing to control it? Let me know if you have any tips! Kim