My mind has always whirled around at 1,000 miles a minute. I try to do five things at once, while thinking about the 12 things I need to do next. I kind of have always liked my busy mind. I have nervous energy that manifests in hair twirling and all kinds of silly things.
But lately as I've tried to do this sober challenge, I have started to turn towards meditation to try to calm the mind, focus on being mindful and present and at least try to train my mind not to wander at every single thing...SQUIRREL!
I signed up for Headspace initially for the kids. I noticed they had some small kids packs and the kids were not into it. But I mean, they are four, so I can understand. So I started doing the Basic Packs, and worked my way up to other different topics.
I can definitely see a change in my thinking. I still deal with lots of anxiety - even when not drinking but today I wanted to snack after dinner. I'm an awful snacker. I eat, then snack, then eat a meal, then snack. It's all mindless and I annoy even myself as I find myself heading for the pantry after a full dinner.
Tonight, my old habit of trying to fill space and time crept back in: The kids are taking a bath. Let me have some chips. A granola bar. A snack.
And, since I've been more mindful I thought, "You know I don't need any of that." And I said a mantra that I read about in A Happier Hour.
I choose sobriety. I choose happiness.
I took a few sniffs of peppermint oil and made a cup of tea and decided to write in my journal. And it's nice.
Speaking of nice. There have been some really kind people I've connected with in the sober community on Instagram. I have a feeling these relationships will strengthen over time and turn into an even better thing. xoxo Kim